


it won't make sense right now but you're still her friend

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [26]
Category: SKAM (France), SKAM (Italy), SKAM (Norway), SKAM (Spain)
Genre: But also, Character Study, Even & Sonja friendship, Friendship, Gen, I have very strong feelings about this headcanon, Male-Female Friendship, Never Have I Ever, POV Outsider, POV Sonia, Pre-Canon, Yeah you read that right, all of the evaks living in Antwerp, also Isak & Sonja friendship, anyway, because fucking BULLSHIT, but before davenzi or sobbe arrive, but only pre-canon to this series if that makes sense, forgiveness is fucking COMPLICATED y'all, my response to SkamFr going "cheating is fine", remember that lucas cris marti and isak are the same age in this series, that marti and isak's seasons happened in the fall, the skamfr writers can fight me in a denny's parking lot, while cris and lucas' happened in the spring the same year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23678029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Some people would be shocked to know that Sonja's still friends with Even to this day. Their relationship may have ended badly, but after she and Even had taken a few months away from each other, they’d come together to be rather good friends. She learned to bite her lip whenever she thought about blaming some behavior of his on his bipolar and had done research into what she'd gotten wrong, finally learning the truth about Even's disorder that she'd refused to realize back in gymnasium.And some might also be surprised by the fact that Sonja doesn’t hate Isak. She did, once, for a brief few weeks, when she only saw him as the guy that her boyfriend was cheating on her with, or the guy she saw only as the subject of Even's mania. But after she'd realized her own mistake and they'd apologized- well, she’d come to tolerate, and maybe even like, Isak.Finding out that there were several other versions of both of them out there in the world- or, more specifically, Antwerp- certainly throws her for a loop, though. She personally blames that fact on Even, as she had come to visit him and no one fucking told her about his friends and their connection to each other.(Sonja visits Isak and Even in Antwerp.)
Relationships: Cristina "Cris" Soto Peña/Joana Bianchi Acosta, Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta, Sonja (SKAM) & Even Bech Næsheim & Isak Valtersen
Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550230
Comments: 4
Kudos: 67





	it won't make sense right now but you're still her friend

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn.
> 
> This story takes place about a year after Even, Isak, Lucas, Martino, Cris, Eliott, Joana, and Nico moved to Antwerp. I wasn't sure exactly where to stick it in the story as the fics tend to proceed chronologically in series order, so I'm just gonna stick it at the end.

_We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences._

_But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward._

**-Alison Croggon**

Some people would be shocked to know that Sonja's still friends with Even to this day. Their relationship may have ended badly- _very_ badly- but after she and Even had taken a few months away from each other, they’d come together to be rather good friends. She learned to bite her lip whenever she thought about blaming some behavior of his on his bipolar and had done research into what she'd gotten wrong, finally learning the truth about Even's disorder that she'd refused to realize back in gymnasium.

And some might also be surprised by the fact that Sonja doesn’t hate Isak. She did, once, for a brief few weeks, when she only saw him as the guy that her boyfriend was cheating on her with, or the guy she saw only as the subject of Even's mania. But after she'd realized her own mistake and they'd apologized- well, she’d come to tolerate, and maybe even like, Isak. His rather grumpy sense of humor was a contrast with Even’s eternal optimism and cheeriness, and there was something almost amusing about his personality that gelled with her own in a way that Even never really did.

(And, of course, there's the fact that they've all matured since gymnasium. Isak is no longer that gruff, closeted guy who awkwardly sat in a room with nothing to say, Sonja's not as quick to judge or push the blame onto others, and Even's not hating himself anymore and he's _definitely_ not cheating on his current partner.)

Finding out that there were several other versions of both of them out there in the world- or, more specifically, Antwerp- certainly throws her for a loop, though. She personally blames that fact on Even, as she had come to visit him and _no one fucking told her_ about his friends and their connection to each other.

She’d noticed that some of them had looked at her rather strangely, but at first she’d blamed that (why, she doesn’t know looking back, but she had) on their gender. After all, Even and Isak’s female friends, the Spanish ones- Joana and Cris- hadn’t so much as blinked strangely at her, while Lucas, Martino, Niccolo, and Eliott had all been constantly either side-eyeing her (in Lucas and Martino’s cases) or just looking at her for far too long, a strange look in their eye (in Niccolo and Eliott’s cases).

“Okay, I don’t get it,” Sonja says, brow furrowed as she sits down to eat dinner with Isak and Even on her third night in town. “Why do your friends hate me? Did I do something to offend them? Do they just really hate lawyers?”

Even raises an eyebrow as Isak’s forkful of broccoli halts halfway to his lips. “Did we not tell you?” Even asks.

“Tell me what?”

“Shit,” Isak says, “You didn’t, Ev? I thought you said you were going to.”

“Sorry,” Even mutters to his boyfriend, then turns to Sonja. “About the counterparts.”

“Your what now?”

And this is how Sonja learns that there are _several_ different Isaks and Evens out there in the world- or, at least, the three sets that they’ve already met- and apparently they and the other Evens’ ex-girlfriends are on far less friendly terms than Sonja and Even and Isak are.

Sonja leans back in her chair. That was...not what she was expecting, not at all. 

The idea that some other version of her and Even, that they let the anger and frustration and resentment get between them- she can understand that. She can almost see it. She remembers how much she was clinging onto her and Even’s relationship, how much it hurt when Even had cheated on her, how angry she had been at him and Isak and the whole fucking situation. It would have been so easy to hold onto that anger, to never forgive Even and let the boys forgive her for what she'd said about Even's MI in her fear and frustration that horrible night.

That all, she gets.

But the mind-boggling idea that there are other versions of them out there, that those boys (and to an extent, those girls- holy shit, there are _female_ versions of Isak and Even out there, too) lived the same love story that Isak and Even did- that's a bit harder to wrap her thoughts around.

(For a moment, Sonja feels a pang of sympathy for those other versions of her, those versions that let resentment override the genuine friendship that she and Even had before they got together, the versions that decided that they could never forgive Even for how he handled the end of the relationship no matter how sincerely he apologized.

...but now Sonja has to wonder if those other versions of Even apologized the other versions of Sonja, if maybe the reason why they look at her like they do is because _they_ feel guilty for not treating their versions of her like Even did her.)

“Well, then, I’ve gotta talk with them again,” she decides, and Isak and Even exchange a look.

“Why, exactly?” Isak asks, looking at her with a slightly suspicious curiosity.

(And Sonja _does_ understand why those other versions of Isak were side-eyeing her. Those versions of Even- they have a reason to feel guilty, because they cheated and maybe they never apologized.

But those other versions of Isak- Sonja has a feeling that other versions of her said similar things to them, flung their Evens’ diagnoses at them like the weapons that Even's bipolar never should have been. She'd been freaking out and Isak was an easy target for her worry and anger and just _everything_ she'd felt, and she'd felt shitty about it rather quickly and she knew that she needed to apologize.

But it took quite a bit of willpower to step up and apologize, knowing that Isak had every right not to accept her apology. Maybe with those other versions of her and Isak, one of them had reacted differently.)

"I just want to know about their stories," she says, completely honest, and Isak's suspicion slides away. The two of them have never really gotten to the level of friends of her and Even, able to talk about deep shit and boys and all of that, but her and Isak get each other, a bit, with their similiar senses of humor and outlooks on the world.

"Alright," Even says, already pulling out his phone, "I'll set up a party for the whole squad."

And that's that.

-

“So…” Sonja starts off in her best English, looking at the three couples assembled in front of her in the flat of Niccolo and Martino, the Italian couple. The two girls are most at ease with her, Joana sitting criss-cross on the floor with Cris sitting in front of her, Joana casually taking out and rebraiding Cris’ hair as Cris paints her own nails, both clearly paying attention and providing moral support (for who, Sonja couldn’t begin to be sure). Of the four guys beyond Isak and Even, Niccolo and Martino are slightly more at ease than Lucas and Eliott, who are both sitting stiffly, and Sonja has the feeling that Lucas and Eliott probably had the worst interactions with the other version of her. “I’m guessing that Even’s, uh, counterparts also are bipolar, too?”

Now, Sonja’s grown a lot since she and Even were together. She did her research into bipolar disorder in the months before her and Even became friends again and she came to understand all of the things she was wrong about in their relationship.

“Actually, no,” Joana pipes up from the floor, raising her hand that is currently not holding her girlfriend’s hair, “I have borderline personality disorder.”

“Oh,” Sonja says, “Alright.” She’s definitely nowhere near as informed about borderline as she is about bipolar- she was a law student, not a psych student, and she did research on bipolar in order to be a better friend to Even. 

Niccolo’s hand twitches toward Martino’s and it’s only after Martino takes his hand that he says, “I have borderline as well."

Then: “Oui,” Eliott says, clear and simple. “I’m bipolar."

And then, awkward silence. As if none of them know how to talk to her about their MIs, as if their Sonjas maybe never made the effort to learn about their MIs after their breakup.

“Well,” Cris says as she fans her finally-coated fingernails in the air. “Lemme break the ice between you all. Isak and Even said that you’re a pretty good friend of theirs, and lemme just be clear in saying that Maddalena and Lucille are definitely _not_ “pretty good friends” with any of the guys here, so we’re all kind of curious how that happened.”

Well, that's a pretty simple question. “Because I apologized to Isak for what I said to him about Even's MI, then Even apologized for what he did to me, we took a few months to cool off, and started talking again during the summer after Even graduated. We became friends before he headed off to Antwerp for art school..." And Sonja trails off because Lucas, Eliott, Martino, and Niccolo are all looking at her like she's grown a second head. "...Is that not what happened with you guys?"

"Dieu, non!" Eliott swears in his native language, sounding almost disturbed by the idea, and Sonja looks at him.

"What about that was different?" Sonja asks, eyes narrowed at Eliott. "Did Lucille not apologize to Lucas, or did you not apologize to Lucille?"

Eliott's expression shifts from perturbed to almost contrite. "I didn't-"

"Alright, hold up," Sonja says, literally holding up a hand in the universal gesture for _shut up,_ and she can see Cris and Joana's expressions of interest and pride from here. "That's where you went wrong, french boy. You need to man the fuck up and apologize to her, better later than never, because you pulled a dick move on her and even if she pulled a bitch move on Lucas it doesn't mean that you didn't completely fuck up, too. You _cheated_ on her, broke her trust, and maybe the relationship was dying and I don't blame you from falling in love with someone else but that doesn't mean that you didn't owe her the _fucking_ respect of telling her to her face that you'd fallen for someone else instead of going behind her fucking back. You owe her a damn apology."

Eliott looks a bit like he's been punched in the gut, but some of her respect for him is restored when he takes a breath and says: "You're right. I fucked up a lot, and she deserved better." He _definitely_ looks contrite when he then pulls away from Lucas, pulls his phone out of his pocket, and heads to the hallway. Across from him Niccolo seems a bit less guilty than him.

And sitting at the table behind Sonja, Even's smile is brighter than the sun right now as she rams into Eliott, and Isak looks proud, and she's glad that she's friends with these idiots and that they've forgiven each other and worked out their issues together.

Then Niccolo speaks up and she turns back to look at him and his rather apologetic expression. "I _did_ apologize for the cheating, actually, after Christmas," he says, voice quiet, "But neither of us really made the effort to make friends or anything beyond that. She was already in med school and was completely fine with moving on, and to be honest, I didn't see a reason to hold on as we were never really friends before we were together, so why make the effort to go back?" He glances at Martino and then looks back down at their hands before saying: "And besides, I couldn't really forgive her for what she'd said to Marti and I couldn't trust her after she and my mother had basically worked together to nearly convince me that _anything_ I did, any decision that I made, was the product of my MI."

Sonja winces. That...yeah, nothing excuses cheating, but she understands why they wouldn't have become friends after all of that. She glances over at Even and he gives a subtle shake of the head, almost as if to say that she'd never gotten as bad as Maddalena had- which, good. They'd both fucked up in their relationship with each other, but not that bad.

"And, well," Joana offers up, "I broke up with Eloy and stayed broken up with him rather early on, so there wasn't much to apologize for on either of our behalves. I told Cris about my MI and I didn't really cheat on him. I'd only been dating him for about a year before that, and we didn't really have too much invested in the relationship. We just kind of went our separate ways and didn't really talk again."

Cris flips up her hand, careful to aim her hand palm-side facing Joana, to offer her girlfriend a high-five that Joana grins and returns. "We got it on lock."

(And now Sonja is _really_ curious about the differences between the different versions of Isak and Even, about how deep and wide those changes are and what they affected. If there is a version where an Even didn't cheat on their Sonja, is there a version where she and Even didn't get together? Is there a version where Isak and Even got together and maybe it was only _Isak_ who cheated on his girlfriend?)

Eliott reenters the living room, looking slightly more at peace with himself as he slides his phone into his pocket. "Lucille and I talked," he says, "She accepted my apology and we're not going to be friends _any_ time soon, probably not ever, but we've worked things out a bit more."

"Good for you," Sonja says, and Cris grins at her.

"Now," Cris says, "I am of the personal opinion that the best way to have fun at a party is either with stupidly embarassing drinking games. Who's down?"

"This isn't a party," Martino says, a note of confusion in his voice, at the same time that Lucas, Isak, and Joana all nod.

"Sounds good to me," Joana says, letting go of the braid she just finished.

"Alright, then," Cris says, standing up. Her nails must be dry by now as she heads over to the kitchen, pulls open the fridge, and pulls out a pack of beer. "Never Have I Ever or Truth or Dare?"

Sonja has to appreciate Cris' emotional read on the situation and her complete nonchalance, as well as Eliott for going over there and carrying all of the beers back into the living room for her, handing one to each of them. Sonja grabs a dining room table chair and moves it so that they're all in a rather wobbly circle, because whatever they're doing, it'll probably be better if she can see everyone she's playing with.

"Let's play Never Have I Ever," Niccolo says with a wink at Martino, who just smiles, rolls his eyes, and leans over and kisses his boyfriend.

Sonja very, very quickly realizes that she has the upper hand in this situation. She knows shit about Isak and Even and thus she knows shit about the others in this group. If she says something good, she knows that she can get at least three (if not four) people in this room to drink.

"This is going to be lots of fun," she says in Norwegian, leaning over to Isak, who snorts.

"You're gonna drag all of us, aren't you?"

"Of course," she says with a scoff, "I'm gonna destroy you and win the whole thing. It's your fault for giving me the keys to your destruction."

Isak rolls his eyes and it's in this moment that she sees, in that familiar gesture, the connection between him, Lucas, Martino, and Cris, so clear in front of her eyes, and she wonders how she didn't pick up on it before. All four of them have done that since she met them, made that exact same expression, and she can't help but smile fondly at the whole thing.

And yet, despite that connection- well, Sonja's competitive and both Even and Isak know that well as they've played plenty of rather intense games of Monopoly and Risk together. It's from games like that that she knows that Isak is just as competitive as she is, and that while Even usually is as well, Isak just has to smile prettily at Even and he'll fold like a wet towel.

Tonight Sonja's going to get to learn if the same dynamic is true for the other versions of them, for those guys and girl with Isak's eye rolls and those guys and girl with Even's bright smile.

God, she hopes so. They'll be _so_ easy to beat if so.

"Who's going first?" Cris asks, and Lucas raises a hand.

"Might as well start off this disaster," he says with a small smirk. "Alright, Never Have I Ever gone running naked through a city at night."

"Oh, fuck you!" Even says with a laugh as he, Niccolo, and Eliott take a gulp of their beers, Niccolo flipping off Lucas in the process.

"Dios, this is gonna be fun," Joana says, clinking her beer can against Cris', and Sonja can't help but agree.

"I think I'm going to like these other versions of you," Sonja says to Isak, who smirks.

"Of course you will."

And Sonja honestly thinks that they're both right.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a bit different than the usual fare, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway! Please feel free to leave a comment if you liked it- I have a shitton of homework/final papers to do over the next few days, but I hope to get out Sander and Lucas VDH POV stories some time in the next couple of weeks, and comments always provide a lot of inspiration/motivation especially when homework is draining my soul.


End file.
